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The past month has been a very trying month for our little family and I felt compelled to share our story. It’s likely not the side of a story you usually see, so I thought it may help other moms. You see, my darling, sweet Miss H is a biter. You typically hear the stories about toddlers who bite, leave nasty marks and are malicious with their biting – but this isn’t my girl. I wanted to share my side of the story as a mom of a biter since we typically hear the other side.
This has been tugging at my heart for the past month because as a mom it makes me so sad and frustrated that my child is hurting others. She does it because it’s her way of reacting to an unknown environment and almost like a fight or flight trigger. She does great at school and at church. Recently we’ve introduced a few new activities to our schedule where they are inconsistent with how often we go and the people she doesn’t see on a regular basis. It’s hard for me to understand why this is happening consistently and of course VERY hard for me to relax and enjoy my adult time with the fear of having the conversation when I pick her up.
As a mom, when it happens, there is wave of emotion coming over me – fear, anger, concern, disappointment all in a matter of seconds. You are looking at this little person who is looking at you and what you say goes in one ear and right out the other. Punishment doesn’t seem to always help the situation and it’s down right frustrating.
Earlier this week, we attended one of our new activities that is going to be in rotation for the next few weeks. Luckily, I knew the ladies in the room and told them exactly what was going on and they were there to help. She attempted, but they were able to diffuse the situation. That open communication really helped with the ladies who worked with her and it gave me a little bit of peace of mind knowing our action plan incase it happened.
To be honest, this week has been really rough. I had an epic melt down on our way home the other day because it is physically exhausting to be continually being worried about your child potentially harming anyone. I almost quit all of my extra curricular activities this week and decided that bunker life was the life for me. Then my sweet husband and friends encouraged me to just keep swimming. This season of life is hard and when she’s ready, she’ll stop. With that, here are some things we’re working on in hopes that this phase passes through a little bit quicker.
Be Upfront With Any New Caregivers
Explain the situation. The more they know the better they can help in a situation when you are not there. If it needs to be escalated ask them to come get you immediately.
Acknowledge the Bitee
Continue the Conversation
Everyone has told me it’s just a phase and she will snap out of it. Until then, we will make it a top priority in the house and continue to talk about biting and the repercussions of it.